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‘Twas the Week After Christmas, By Kenneth Yount
Twas the week after Christmas and people with means
Twas the week after Christmas and people with means
We left Ushuaia behind in our wake
And headed out into the troublesome Drake.
We passed Puerto Williams and rounded the Horn
And got shaken and tousled from evening ‘til morn.
We had a Drake crossing so lively and quick
I knew in a moment I’d really be sick.
So away to my bathroom I flew with a hunch
Tore open the shutters and threw up my lunch.
The Drake settled down and we pleasantly felt it
Then we saw H.O. Island, or rather we smelt it.
As we stood on our deck excitedly snooping
Six thousand penguins were busily pooping.
As our Zodiacs sped there with powerful motors
We knew that H.O. stood for ‘horrible odors’.
Then onto the icebergs and onto Base Brown
Where we noticed the Argentines must have skipped town.
We saw humpbacks and penguins and sheathbills and shags
Colorful glaciers and mountains with crags.
We loved Neko Harbour, its calm crystal waters
And Lockroy, where Britain’s Union Jack flutters.
Petermann, Pleneau, Danco and Orne
Then back ‘cross the Drake and back past Cape Horn.
On board, we ate all the food we could get
From morning ‘til night... And the sun never set .
We were all fed so much that every land lubber
Packed on another ten kilos of blubber.
And fearful that if we wore gray colored clothes
People would see us and yell ‘there she blows’.
Our Quark staff were awesome, each one was unique
Like Jaymie who ran the Polar Boutique.
And Niki and Wolfgang and Shelli and Laurie
And John with his wonderful Shackleton story.
Vladimir, Scott and Juani and Flipper
Fabrice and Jean and Oleg the skipper.
Cam, Dave and Alex and Sharon and Simon
And one or two others whose names just aren’t rhymin’.
And all led by Shane, better known as “The Boss”
Without whom we all would have been at a loss.
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry
His cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry.
The beard on his chin was as brown as the dirt
And he always wore shorts with his Quark-issue shirt.
He took care of us all from morning ‘til night
His burdens were heavy so ours could be light .
From first day ‘til last, and all in between
Then he dropped us back in the Argentine.
But we heard him say (and he thought he was funny)
“We’ll see you again when you save up more money” .
And fearful that if we wore gray colored clothes
People would see us and yell ‘there she blows’.
Our Quark staff were awesome, each one was unique
Like Jaymie who ran the Polar Boutique.
And Niki and Wolfgang and Shelli and Laurie
And John with his wonderful Shackleton story.
Vladimir, Scott and Juani and Flipper
Fabrice and Jean and Oleg the skipper.
Cam, Dave and Alex and Sharon and Simon
And one or two others whose names just aren’t rhymin’.
And all led by Shane, better known as “The Boss”
Without whom we all would have been at a loss.
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry
His cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry.
The beard on his chin was as brown as the dirt
And he always wore shorts with his Quark-issue shirt.
He took care of us all from morning ‘til night
His burdens were heavy so ours could be light .
From first day ‘til last, and all in between
Then he dropped us back in the Argentine.
But we heard him say (and he thought he was funny)
“We’ll see you again when you save up more money” .
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